I began my “special” journey really mad at God. Subsequently I stumbled upon the concept the God’s perspective was wholly different from human perspective. The concept that what I see isn’t at all what God sees. He is all-knowing of past, present and future while I am befuddle in all three of those. Learning and understanding a concept, however, is not the same as putting it into practice. That’s what I mean by surrender – actually letting that concept guide my thoughts and actions requires a challenge to every natural instinct I have. Continue reading
Soon after receiving a devastating prognosis for my baby, I was introduced to a concept that eventually changed everything – my whole life, not just the specific circumstance I was facing with my son. I ran across this concept in a much bigger story than mine, in the book of Exodus.
This story begins in Exodus 3 where we find Moses walking through the desert. Here’s my super-condensed recap of what preceded this walk in the desert. He has run away from the luxurious life he had known since childhood. As an infant he was marked to be killed but then miraculously spared by a princess and raised as royalty. Then, as an adult he is pulled emotionally back to his roots, perceiving for the first time the cruelty being imposed upon his people and he chooses to flee to the desert. There, I would imagine, his plan is to live out the remainder of his life in anonymity and tranquility. So while contentedly walking his sheep through the afternoon sun, he sees in the distance a burning bush. As he walks toward the bush to get a closer look, God’s voice audibly calls him by name “Moses!” and when Moses replies “Here am I” the voice says:
“Do not come any closer. Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.” Exodus 3:5 Continue reading
Every mom has unique challenges. I’m convinced each of us finds ourselves completely alone at times, in situations unlike those faced by any other. As an infant my firstborn sometimes spontaneously projectile-vomited all his milk after nursing. Then, when that same boy was 5 he broke his arm and we didn’t believe him – after three days of crying, the ER docs showed us how awfully neglectful we had been. From ages 5 through 13 he fainted at the sight of blood, a lot. I recall lots of challenges here and there, peppered in with the joy and exhaustion of raising a typical, yet unique little boy. As he grew, time flew by. He seemed to go through constant metamorphosis – looking back now it seems like one day he was sitting, the next day standing, and a few days later walking. His first day of kindergarten is fresh in my mind, even though he is now in high school. Milestones rushed along in flurries – a whirlwind of growth, change and progress. Overall an average story for my exceptional young man.
But there are other mommy stories – and I have one of those too. There’s not much “typical” to comment on, or compare notes about, and not one instance of developmental milestones just breezing by, unaided and unnoticed. These special stories, I believe, are among the most precious gifts from a loving God. These are the experiences that can be so life-changing and overwhelming, so as to reveal a light and truth previously unfathomed. It is for the purpose of pulling back this curtain that I write this blog. So that perhaps one other mom can find the same truth – “having the eyes of her understanding enlightened so that she can know what is the Hope of [her] calling” (Ephesians 1:18) My prayer is that you will be able to see that “special” is really special. That challenged and flawed can simultaneously be perfect and blessed.
This writing is the result of my own change of view. When my baby was diagnosed with a genetic disorder, I found myself in a situation I could not understand. I was unable to discover any legitimate answer to the question “why?” and was left in a lonely confusion. Gently I was nudged by the outside world and my intrinsic sense of duty towards “acceptance”. While attempting to acclimate myself to resignation, I came upon a story in the Bible wherein God’s perspective is unlike anything a human can reason or understand. I was confronted with the proposal of viewing my situation not by what I could see, or rationalize, but through the filter of an all-knowing, all-giving, God whose plan and purpose were always for good. This radically different thought process of abandoning my own perception and using God’s eyes, completely changed my life and my hope for the future. I have come to know that “acceptance” is actually a far cry from “embracing” and “enjoying”, and that is where I want to be and stay.
The change of perspective didn’t occur overnight, nor by happenstance. The purpose of this blog is to share the various lessons I have learned along the way, the truths that have enabled and encouraged me to continuously renew my mind and maintain the new vision. Taking this journey together we will unearth the promises of hope and peace, and a place far beyond simple “acceptance”. Because Special truly is Special.
Please consider joining me by Liking my Facebook Page, or following my blog on WordPress, as I continue to share reminders of God’s promises, and examples of how to apply them to your life. Just today I found this quote in a book I’m reading called “Four Cups” by Chris Hodges:
“Don’t settle for less than God’s best for you. Don’t stifle that voice in your heart that tells you there has to be more. Don’t stay on the treadmill of conformity, trudging along to someone else’s idea of who you should be.”
Let’s encourage and challenge each other to never settle!