As you may know by now, I frequently contribute blog posts to a site called TheMighty.com. It’s a cool site designed to form a community of individuals with special needs or disabilities where acceptance and understanding take place, and stigma is erased.
They send out a monthly request for stories, with specific topics or assignments. Recently the topic was “Marriage and Special Needs”. I immediately began formulating my response to this request – I am, after all, married. Sounded like a slam-dunk project.
As I wrote, I kept adding more and more disclaimers, apologies, and caveats to the piece. Among my personal friends who are special moms, several are divorced. I have witnessed their struggle, their hard work, their perseverence, and their anguish over every challenging decision. They were so forefront in my mind as I wrote, I was almost ready to cancel the whole thing. I would never ever want those lovely ladies to think that I was somehow judging their provision for their child as less-than.
But then, it struck me. I was apologizing for being married. I was bending over backwards to disqualify my marital status. And that won’t do. My BFFs know I love them, and love their parenting, whether single or married, so I pulled out all the apologies, wrote the article and hit “send” before I could re-read it and change my mind. Continue reading